I’m not going to bother with resolutions, as they’ve been the same ones for the past couple years. This year has been bumpy, but when has it not? Hope you all have fun tonight & enjoy whatever you’re doing, if you’re drinking don’t get in a car & drive please!
Stay safe & have fun! <3
I am not in the place where I saw myself a year ago, I don’t even remember those goals I had. I went inactive & didn’t work out consistently for months. I’ve lost the muscle I had built up, gained an inch or two back, haven’t been eating the healthiest.
But that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I stopped, that I gave up, that I don’t want any of that anymore, that I don’t care, or that I’m going back to my old habits. I’m not, heck no.
Some times things come up, you need to take a break, to step back & reevaluate. These past couple months since school started I’ve been nothing but scared & stressed. The future scares the shit out of me & I don’t feel like doing anything anymore, whether it’s school work or even things I love to do like read or draw. I’m in a hole right now, but I refuse to dig myself any deeper.
Don’t let other people or other things run your life, stop it & take control. If you want something, go & get after it because if you don’t you’ll regret it.
A big part of why I didn’t bother blogging is because I was ashamed. I didn’t want any of you seeing me fail & regress, but I’m not anymore. This is how I am right now & this is where
I’m starting, I’m picking it up again.
I can’t say majority of my work is done…but half of it is or will be by the end of today. So now I can focus on more important things, like getting back on track with my workouts.
I’ve managed to do yoga for 30 mins every other day & try to eat moderately good, but yeah to me I feel like I’m back where I started or worse. It sucks & I want to punch something.
I’ve gone to them the past two days & our top guy coach noticed my good defending skills. Yesterday I was able to keep on the girl I had tagged, while also paying attention to where the QB was going to throw & getting on those girls 3/4ths of the time. Including tagging one of our top players twice, & she’s really good & faster than I am but I got her twice. I’m really proud of myself I just hope I am played during the game & I just don’t get stuck on defense, cause I’d like to play offense too a little. But I’ll take what I can get.
On my runkeeper I set a goal starting tomorrow & ending the 11th of November to run at least 85 miles total. I haven’t run in a really long time, the past couple of months the only cardio I’ve done is biking. I cannot miss out on this season. I will start & finish Indoor & be ready for Outdoor.
I’m determined, lets just hope I stay that way the next couple of weeks.
I sent back my homecoming dress because I thought it was too tight & the large would fit better, but it doesn’t. Now they don’t the dress anymore. FUCK ME. I don’t know whether to keep it & just wear it, its not that bad, but the medium looks better than the large does & ughhhhhh. I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. STUPID STUPID STUPID.